His Fans, My Friends

December 25th 2009, will be a very dark day indeed for thousands of people around the world! Instead of enjoying the celebrations of Christmas, they will still be struggling with their grief, unable to get any answers to any of their questions, and subsequently any closure. Who are these people? These are the die-hard loyal fans of Michael Joseph Jackson.

I am well aware that there are a lot of people out there to whom Michael’s death means nothing and who (rightfully so) believe that there are countless other good people around the world, who deserve our tears more than Michael. To those individuals, I ask you to stop for one minute and caste aside the images you have of Michael Jackson in his latter years and ignore all the ‘media hype’ and just think about the cold hard facts – The countless songs which will stand the test of time and that changed people’s lives and dictated the way forward for the music industry, the racial barriers he broke down, the dazzling concerts he performed and the unboundless acts of charity (most of which went largely unreported). He was a good, kind hearted charitable soul, in a rotten industry!

However, I digress, since this article is not actually about Michael but about his fans. From Britain to Barbados, from Kuala Lumpar to Kapmandu, people the world over are mourning his loss. Whether you are 50 or 15 years old, his music spanned the generations. However with his death we lost some of our number who felt that life without Michael and his music, was a life not worth living. My Book is also dedicated to them and the families and friends they left behind.

The roots of the Michael Jackson fan base spread from people becoming enthralled by that amazing voice issuing from such an adorable child, to the child turning into a talented boy and the boy into a handsome man! We all rocked to ‘Can u feel it?’ and ‘Blame it on the Boogie’ and danced our socks off to ‘Billy Jean’.

Then things began to change....slowly the face, then the skin and then the Media! However, one thing did remain constant –us, his fans! I have to add here that I am a firm believer that the type of fans that constitute a Rock/Pop stars/groups fan base tend to reflect their personality/s. Thus Michael’s fans are unique in that most of us have very creative, intellectual personalities. There is also a solid group of us who would follow him around the world and were lucky enough to get acquainted with him and vice versa! Thus when the Media started turning against Michael, we remained loyal, ‘pooh, poohing’ all the ridiculous headlines – “Michael sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber”. To us Michael was still Michael. The face and skin colour may have changed but the man, the music and the amazing dance moves were still the same. We listened to his music and could see the turmoil he was going through. I must admit here, I was convinced the paparazzi would get tired of chasing him, as they usually did with other ‘stars’. However that was not to be! We had to stand by and watch our idol being picked apart bit by bit. Then there was 2004/5 and that Trial!!

I don’t think there was a single one of Michael’s fans who believed he was guilty....silly, naive, maybe but never a child molester!! Living as I do in the U.K., I sat glued to the television devouring every bulletin, wishing I could be amongst those ‘fortunate’ fans outside the courthouse, who were able to give succour to Michael at the beginning and end of every day. To our concern he was looking increasingly more and more frail as time went on. Those fans were incredible, camping outside that courthouse for days on end, refusing to move, determined to see the trial through to the bitter end and be there for Michael whatever the outcome. As we all now know he was cleared of all charges, the whole thing was a complete and utter farce orchestrated by people who all had motives other than justice on their minds!

Oh, how we celebrated, so sure that our idol would soon be in his rightful place, on stage performing....That was not to be 2005 turned into 2006/7/8. Pictures flooded the internet and newspapers of Michael looking frail, visiting doctors, in a wheelchair, reports abounded that he had a life-threatening illness and the whispers resurfaced of his addiction to painkillers!! We didn’t know what to make of it! Then towards the end of 2008 rumours started circulating that Michael was going to do some ‘comeback’ concerts!! We were elated!!

So on June 25th 2009, millions of hearts shattered as the news percolated around the Globe that Michael Jackson had passed away at the ridiculously young age of 50. Initially we were told it was due to cardiac arrest, which yes at that time we bought! After all he had been working extremely hard, and he was at that age!! Then things started to get a whole lot worse, day after day bought new and more shocking revelations. Unable to cope with it all and with no one within my circle of family and friends, Michael Jackson fans, I turned to the Fan Forums for solace. I must admit I was sceptical as to what I would find there. However I needn’t have worried since I found a place where my feelings were reciprocated and I felt ‘normal’. Initially like any new person entering a ‘family’ set up they are wary of you, however after a while they had accepted me, when I had earnt my ‘stripes’ by showing off my knowledge of all things MJJ!

Those first couple of months were interesting with fans digging up and posting informative articles on the various ‘parties’ known to be involved in Michael’s final months/weeks/days. Then there were the conspiracy theories – mainly that he was still alive and had faked his death. Such theories were, and still are, being encouraged by ‘certain parties’ pertaining to be with or in contact with Michael and feeding, those already grief stricken fans, false hope that he was going to be making a ‘comeback’ in June 2010 “to embark on a world tour that will eventually will include every inhabited continent and many, many countries.” YouTube was awash with fans posting ‘conspiracy’ video’s ; It wasn’t Michael in the picture taken in the ambulance, Michael’s body was moving in the helicopter flight, and famously that video of ‘Michael’ supposedly walking out of the back of the ambulance and into the back door of the mortuary! In our grief and shock we refused to believe he was gone!! I must admit after watching a few of these conspiracy ‘vids’ (and some of them are amazingly put together) even I was prepared to believe!! However, as time slowly passed by these ‘postings’ began to get more and more infrequent. We all began to start accepting that the impossible had happened – Michael was no more!

As in a family we began to form bonds as we all got to know each other, from our ‘postings’. Like a family if one of us didn’t appear for a while we would get worried and get others to check on his/her well-being. Fans would open up and bare their soles, knowing that here at least they would be safe and their feelings for Michael would not be ridiculed. If someone ‘posted’ that they were ‘having a bad day’. Their ‘thread’ would be flooded with others offering them help and support! Then there is the creativity -in their need to express the variety of emotions they are going through just now, the floodgates have been opened. Never before have I seen such wonderful variety of poetry and prose, of photographs and drawings. Like their ‘Lord and master’ Michael’s fans are just as creative.

However, wonderful as all this is, it does not bring us any nearer to getting any closure. In all the melee of Michael’s death and the subsequent Homicide investigation and debates over the Will and his children, everyone seems to have overlooked his fans. A lot of fans, globally, needed help in coming to terms with his passing. However, the only way to have that happen, would be if any or all of the following had occured, i.e:-

Firstly, we needed to be able view the body to enable us to say a final goodbye (unfortunately, the family for various reasons, which the we, the fans respect, wanted a closed casket affair).

Secondly, for us to be able to visit some sort of monument or place where the Michael might have lived or spent some time and where we can congregate and leave letters of condolence, and feel ‘close’ to Michael. (At present, some are able to visit his ‘Mausoleum’ at Forest Lawn where he was laid to rest, however, only close family and friends are allowed entry to view his ‘tomb’. For his overseas fans to do this involves a very long trip and doesn’t really give them any real sense of ‘closeness’ to their idol.) A lot of fans are keen for ‘Neverland’, Michael’ s old home, to be turned into a second ‘Graceland’, however this seems unlikely at present since the current owner Tom Barrack (Colony Capital) has no plans to sell it and is keen to turn it back into a working ranch. Most of Michael’s old neighbours and fellow ranchers are not keen to have such an attraction on their doorsteps citing the fact that the roads and public services would not cope with the volume of traffic created by such an attraction.

Thirdly, if the death was suspicious then sometimes closure can only really be gained when answers are given as to the cause of the death. (At the time of writing this, we are still waiting).

Since none of these events have happened we are being left in limbo and many of us are in a very, very bad way, unable to find any answers to our Idols death or any escape from our grief! Information coming out of the investigation is, to say the least, sparse! With the main suspect now back at work, a lot of us are despairing that we will never get any answers and Michael’s death will remain unresolved!!

We are the people who supported Michael throughout all of his ‘trials & tribulations’ who were there to offer him support when he needed it and who ploughed vast amounts of our savings and earnings into his work. Like most Pop & Rock stars need to ask themselves – where would they be without their fans? Now we feel that we have been cast adrift to fend for ourselves, and that we have fulfilled our use and now are consequently on our own! We deserve better!!

Trying desperately to find a ‘cure’ for my own grief, I stumbled upon an idea which I felt might help the situation, somewhat. Having a bookshelf crammed full of Michael Jackson books, I realised that there was one missing – one about us his fans! With all that creativity that was pouring out of the Forums (please see below for a beautiful poem written by one of his fans recently), there was more than enough to fill a book! Some of the tales that the fans would recount of their lives following Michael were amazing and definitely deserved to be shared with others. At last the world would have the chance to see what an amazingly, creative, caring, unique and resourceful bunch we are! I feel as well that it will give them a chance to concentrate on something else other than, Michael’s death. For those sceptics who find it difficult to understand us ‘fans’ it will give them an interesting insight into what actually makes us tick and more importantly we are not just ‘airheads’ but quite the opposite, since the majority of Michael’s fans are made up of professional mature women and men.



So that is it in theory, a book crammed full of Michael Jackson fan stories, poetry, prose, drawings and photographs (and absolutely celeb-free). I had the title already (that was easy – ‘Michael – By His Fans, For His Fans’). I could even ‘see’ my book in my imagination. It would hopefully be just the therapy my fellow fans needed at this time. I put my idea cautiously to the fans and the response was over and above my expectations!

Right, so I had their support, all I had to do now was promote it and get it published – as that famous meerkat would say “simplze”. Right!! Firstly I felt I had to get my ‘infrastructure’ right. I felt it might be useful to have a website to enable people to read up firsthand about the book and its concept, and also to have links not only to my email address but to other ‘useful’ and informative sites. I knew as much about website design as I did about publishing. Then I had my first stroke of luck, I went on a wonderful site about Michael called www.reflectionsonthedance.com and came across its creator Deborah Campisie Kunesh, who after I contacted her, very graciously offered to help me set up my website. So http://www.michaelbythefans.homestead.com/ was born. Fans – tick, Website –tick. Next I need to promote my book. Firstly, I felt it would be good to have the backing of a celeb, since he/she might be able to ‘open doors’ I couldn’t. I tried all the ones linked with Michael (Peter Andre, David Guest) to no avail.....It is at this point I think I should point out to you good readers, that I do not give up particularly easily, being stubborn has been my affliction up until now! I felt sure that somehow there would be someone out there who would see how fantastic my idea was! Then one day my sister-in-law happened to mention having met Mark Lester, through a friend, and that he was now working as an osteopath in a nearby town. Bingo!! Mark Lester, my dreams had been answered, here was the chap who was one of Michaels closest friends (he is godfather to all of Michaels children), all I had to do was to meet with him and persuade him that I wasn’t a complete and utter lunatic and to back my book!! Yeah, right!! Several emails later, I find myself standing at the entrance to his clinic, one cold and blustery Wednesday morning. “I cannot believe I am about to meet one of Michael’s best friends!” with shaking hands (and legs) I ring the bell......Mark was great!! Interesting but reserved (understandably), after all I could have been a reporter from some Tabloid try to dish yet more dirt, and the main thing was he said yes!! Fans – tick, Website – tick, Celeb – tick. Now I need to promote my book, so I have emailed and phoned and phoned and emailed GMTV, This Morning, Loose Women even Paul O’Grady – so far a big fat zero! Again my instinct tells me to keep banging on those doors and they will eventually open. It is unfortunate that the Christmas season is upon us and I suppose my story is not seasonal enough!

The Publishers are the last on my list and I understand from various sources that this can be the most difficult door to break down! I have not a clue as to the best way to approach them, some say you need a literary agent, some say not!! Again my stubbornness comes into play, as I write this I am planning to take a trip down to London in the New Year and attempt to get to see someone at one of the publishing houses, even if I have to sit in the middle of their foyer! So watch this space! By the way should any publishers happen upon my article and you are interested in my book, please do not hesitate to contact me through the above website!

Thanks to social networking sites such as Facebook, the fansites have become bigger and more people can communicate with one another more easily. Thus I have my own little band of ‘MJ Girls ‘ on Facebook and there are countless other ‘groups’ set up from ‘Vindicate MJ Now’ to ‘Michael Jackson Singstar’! Thousands of his fans worldwide are determined to see something good come from Michael’s death, whilst they wait to discover just how and why he died.

This book has become my vocation; it will be the mouthpiece of his fans allowing them their ‘Time to shine’. Personally, I have discovered a drive inside of me that I never knew existed, and also (and most importantly) I have made some wonderful friends from all around the globe. My Christmas card list has just got considerably bigger and more cosmopolitan.

If it hadn’t been for the fans and the fan forums, I don’t really know how I would have coped! This article and my book are my way of saying “Thanks”. However, we must also remember I would not have these friends or be compiling a book if it were not for one incredible human being who motivated us all – Michael Joseph Jackson!



One Last Goodbye....



When i cast my mind back

To the horrible day you died,

You simply wouldn't believe

The endless tears i cried

When the middle of the first night came around

I suddenly woke with a start

It was almost as if something

Were pulling the strings of my heart

My eyes wandered to the doorway

And i saw something i couldn't believe

It was almost as though you came back to me

To maybe help me grieve

You said something then

That i really needed to hear

So you came a little closer

And whispered in my ear

"I know i left in a hurry,

But i came to say goodbye

Because i want you to be happy,

And i don't want you to cry."

And then you were gone again

And once more i started to cry

As i remembered when you came back to me

With that one last goodbye....

.

Much Love and God bless,

Mjgirl32


ETA

Unfortunately the book, so far, has not come into being. There are now many wonderful books based on the same format as I was going to base mine That said I have not given up on either it or us. Our story deserves to be heard, in some shape or form. To all those wonderful fans who supported my idea wholeheartedly and were good enough to submit material written or pictorial, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and rest assured one day this book will happen.