This was a day I had long been anticipating! 23rd January 2010, the first Fan Event since Michael died in June last year. Up until now, I am ashamed to say I had never attended a Fan Event, although (as you readers of my blogs will now know) a life-long MJ Fan, I had never found the need. Now it was something I needed to do!! The idea of being around other people with whom I could 'talk Michael' all day was, to me just now, heaven on earth. Also it would give me a chance to see the 'Exhibition' before it closed and moved on to another country at the end of the month. There was also the prospect of a meeting that had been organised with a some fans from a couple of the forums.
I travelled alone, partly through choice, but also because there simply was no one else in my environs who was remotely interested in Michael Jackson. Since the actual event (being held in a nightclub in the O2 called 'The Indigo') didn't start until 3pm and it was only 10 o'clock when I arrived, I decided to go straight to the 'Exhibition'. This contains a selection of Michael's stage costumes, along with memorabillia such as a selection of his gold discs, and accessories like his selection of rhinestone encrusted gloves. Also items from taken from his last real home and sanctuary - Neverland (including the imposing archway that dominated the entrance to the estate). It was awe inspiring - If I could have I would have stayed there all day, it was beautifully laid out with most of the costumes being within touching distance - although I didn't, the temptation was to jump up onto the plinth and hug and envelope oneself in them, to try to get the 'essence of the man'( I understand that although to others, this sort of behaviour might sound a bit wild, for people who have lost someone 'close' to them, this is a very natural reaction). I desperately looked for signs to indicate that items 'usage' - make up on the collar, frayed collars, cuffs, hems. It was beyond comprehension that these were the actual outfits that I had seen on Michael in the wonderful videos of his concerts and 'short films'. Amusingly the 'Gold Pants' did look very worn around a 'certain area'!! Now I must add that up until now I had been fine, sad but fine. I then turned into another room and was hit by the 'Neverland Arch'. It was then that the tears started....that arch deserved to be nowhere else other than Neverland, his beautiful paintings and belongings deserved to still be residing nowhere else other than Neverland. Much as it was wonderful and I feel honoured to have set sight on them, they were I felt not meant for 'public consumption'. I could almost feel Michael's soul being torn apart (again) at having all these 'strangers' oggling his belongings. I really wanted to shout to my accompanying crowd " Go away....what do you think you are looking at!! Would you like it if someone took all the things out of your house, for complete strangers to see?". I think the costumes designed for him to wear for 'This is it' ( although amazingly beautiful) were the saddest of all. They stood there pristine, unused....never to be used. We could only use our imaginations as to how Michael would have looked in them. Then at the very end 'The Glove'. The iconic symbol of Michael - only one but radiantly beautiful, each crystal perfect but not a pair (as gloves generally are) but just one - alone! It was time to go, I had to meet up with my fellow fans and I suppose I was really looking forward to the interaction.
It is a very strange set up really looking back on things now...here I was attending a fan event for someone who was no longer alive and trying to find people who felt like friends because I had conversed with them so often online, but didn't know what they looked like and only knew them by their 'Forum name' i.e' Miss Moonstreet'! However, I needn't have worried I spied a group of people huddled together by the door and decided to take the plunge. It turned out my hunch was right. What a diverse bunch we were! Although most of them were younger than me, they were a mixture of races and backgrounds but the beauty of this day was none of that mattered because we all had one thing in common - Michael! It really boosted my ego ( I am sorry to admit), since several recognised me from my postings and the picture on my website for my book. Ooooh it was soo lovely to actually talk about Michael to people who didn't roll their eyes heavenwards or look board! Walking around it was amazing to see the variety of ages present - and their outfits. I think the youngest must have been only about 3 - 4 yrs old!! So many mini-Michael's. So many talented mini Michaels! They were gliding and Moonwalking better than us oldies and for the majority of them at least, they certainly didn't need any cohersion!! If parents were wanting to introduce their siblings to the entertainment world, this certainly was a good start, since none were able to move more than a few feet before having a request for a photo! As for us grown ups well, yet again we didn't let Michael down. It was obvious that many had taken and spent a considerable amount of time and money for this day! People had come from as far a field as Bulgaira and Holland! Amusingly enough I ran into several single ladies who, like myself had escaped from 'the non-believers at home' and taken the plunge. I was interested and yet confused since generally the mood was up-beat. The only ones with tears in their eyes were those of my generation, still mourning, still trapped in our grief with still no closure! The hope I think for a lot of us was to find some sort of closure through this day. The younger generation are lucky enough (if that is the word) not to have all the 'History'. They take Michael and his music at face value but it is wonderful to see that at least Michael's legacy is safe for the next couple of generations.
Sad as it may seem, I was determined that this was one 'gig' I was going to be right in the front row! Having never been to an MJ concert, this was the nearest I was ever going to get. I had seen pictures and YouTube vids of 'Navi' and to me he was 'close but no cigar'. However, 'beggars can't be choosers' so for the chance of spending a couple of hours, singing and boogie-ing to Michael, he would do! Up close (I got my front row spot) he is bigger and not as hansome as Michael, the outfits were or looked like 'cheap' copies of the originals and we had to suspend belief when we had four 'white' Jackson 5's!! It also was slightly annoying that the speech Navi gave, although thanking everyone including the fans, he left out the one person without whom all of this would not have been possible - Michael! However, the evening was well rehearsed and good fun!
Normally at the end of a 'gig' or a 'concert' you are left with a feeling of euphoria (bourne out of seeing your idol up on stage), so at the end of this one it was strange. It was with a heavy heart that I turned round and started heading home with a feeling of emptyness. The evening hadn't bought me any closer to getting any closure. However, the day was not all bad, since I had met some wonderful people and can now actually start putting some faces to names on the Forums. Today, however, the tears have come again, as has the grief. Is there nothing that will staunch the ache, pain and anger?
No comments:
Post a Comment